Scale Smithing End of Week 1

So our first week of scaling has come to a close. Sue finished enough to throw her armor on the dress form, mainly so she could agonize over how to do the contractions so that it'll fit right. Contractions still escape my logic, but after some forum post questions, I think Sue knows what she needs to do. My armor is now almost perfectly sized for Jack's chest. We ran out of cleaned scales on Tuesday, so we spent Wednesday night cleaning scales and watching the new Sherlock on Netflix. Not bad. Here are some pics:

Sue Day 6

Drew Day 6

Sue Day 7

Drew Day 7

Scale smithing Week 1 Days 4 and 5

Aah the weekend. Now that we finally hit our first weekend of scaling, we were excited. Except of course we have kids, so our time scaling was pretty much the exact same 9ish to midnightish it was during the week. Oh well. At least we're both becoming a little more proficient at weaving things together.

By the end of Day 4, I had a nice big happy 'Y.' I also, sadly, learned that my 5x5 diamonds were a crap idea because they make for cock-eyed assembly. Sue had explored the minor hells of weaving the bottom half of a diamond--hell because it doesn't really hold a good shape while you're trying to weave things that way. And minor for two reasons 1) Once she figured it out it wasn't hard to do 2) part of figuring out was that she grabbed a chopstick and used it to enforce shape while weaving. Brilliant.

Day 4 Drew

Day 4 Sue

I was real excited for Saturday night because Sunday is the only day of the week that we don't have alarms (aside from the Maaamy alarm). I started out by fixing the cock-eyed ness of the 5x5 diamonds. Then I tried making a 6x6 diamond and realized that it was a bit too large and cumbersome to really build all that well. I've decided to go down to the 4x4s that Sue's been using all along. What's that saying, "If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you in the first time." After the 6x6, I went about filling in the gap between the amended 5x5 and the new 6x6.

Sue finished wiring up the other shoulder and started adding down over her breast.

Drew Day 5

Sue Day 5

We're still really digging the process, and I'm real sad thinking that all next week I'll be away on business and not able to scale (If I didn't already decide that I need to write like a banshee while away, I'd totally smuggle some scales along with me.)

Armor Smithing Week 1, Days 2 and 3

As we continue on our way making our scale armor, things are getting easier. By the end of day 2, I'd finished two 5 across diamonds, and Sue had started knitting together her 4 across diamonds into the neckline for her armor.

Day 2 Status Drew

Day 2 Status Sue

Day 3 went even better. I finished four 5-across diamonds and knitted three of them together--I would have gotten the fourth knitted as well but I knitted it backwards and had to take it out. Sue completed knitting together nine 4-across diamonds and is now beginning to worry where/when she's going to have to do contractions to handle the boob issues.

Day 3 Status Sue

Day 3 Status Drew

We're both really enjoying this project, and spent a little time talking about how exciting it will be when the kids demand some armor of their own. I've already been told that if Molly wants purple, that I'll be weaving that lest Sue get the purple poisoning.

More soon.

Armor Smith, The Blog

Week 1, Day 1

Recently, Sue and I were talking, and considering how much we both enjoy the medieval faire (Went twice this year already and planning a third trip to the Pittsburgh faire in September), she suggested that as a winter project, we make Scale armor. I immediately said that I was too inept at doing things with my hands to be able to pull something like this off, but after a couple of days of encouragement, we went out to TheRingLord.com and ordered 5,000 stainless steel scales as our mutual Christmas present/winter project. The scales came yesterday, and we could hardly wait to start.

Weaving scale armor is a lot like making chainmail--in fact, the standard scale weave is very close to the standard chainmail 4-in-1 weave. The only major difference being that there's a scale in there too. Instead of standard chainmail kinds of rings where the ring is split needing a rivet or weld closure, we got splitrings--much like keyrings. They're more durable in the longrun, because you won't have to worry about scales popping off as easy, but there's a considerable learning curve attached to getting the rings to work, as we found out last night. Below are the results of our first night as armorsmiths.

(my scales are on the left and Sue's are on the right). As you can see, I'm a bit more retarded about scaling than my wife--she ended up spending a good half hour trying to help me fix the mess I made of my first pass. I got a little ring happy and started adding and tying scales to too many other scales, making my pattern go all wonky off center. Towards the end of the night though I was starting to understand it better, so hopefully tonight I'll be able to catch up to Sue's progress while she's at class. Overall, we worked for about 2.5 hours last night; and I managed to link 19 scales correctly. I think sue is somewhere around 24 or 32, I can't remember which. TheRingLord.com's scale calculator estimated I'd need something in the neighborhood of 3,260 some odd scales to finish my armor--for Sue, she'll need about half that because she's planning on making hers backless and connected with leather straps instead.

All that being said, the first night went well and I'm looking forward to day two. I'll try to keep regular updates on our progress here.

Ontologica 3.1 Now Available!

I'm happy to announce that Ontologica 3.1 Summer 2011 is now live!  The issue contains works from these fine authors:

• Non-Fiction
• Jessica Erica Hahn
• Maureen Foley
• William Pomeroy
• Kilean Kennedy (Book Review)
• Fiction
• A. Lucia Cravens
• S.V. Meyers
• Poetry
• Carolyn Moore
• Karen L. George
• Tasha Cotter
• Ruth Foley
• Gary Lehmann
• Chris Compson
• Bruce Majors
• Art
• Eleanor Bennett
• Fabio Sassi

Please take a moment and check out the new issue: Ontologica Issue 3.1

The next Issue will come out some time in the Winter.  We will announce the open reading period for the Winter issue probably some time early in the fall.

The First Post in Two Seasons Presented by The MollyJacks

Once, I taught this class where I assigned all my students a weekly blog post.  And just to ensure that I was still in-touch with reality, I did the same thing—posted at least one post a week every week…for I think 13 out of 15 weeks.  Jack was born towards the end of the semester, so Priorities got in the way, but, well, that’s a far cry from the current state of things.  Seeing that the last post was mentioning the possibility of the Summer reading session for Ontologica, and now not only is the reading period over, but the Issue is now well on the way to getting its little feet out in the great green deep of teh Intarnets (probably by month’s end). Notwithstanding, a whole heck of a lot of things has been going on since Jan 29th or thereabouts since I last blogged about.

Likely the most interesting thing to cover would be the latest –isms from Molly, and now Jack as well.  So, without further ado, the MollyJacks present the next chapter in the dictionary that only their little minds can build.

Part the First Mollyisms

• Lasterday --  n. abst. 1. Yesterday 2. Sometime earlier today.  3. Some other time, possibly never.  This term always appears at the beginning of the sentence: Lasterday, I went to Regular Gramma’s House.
• Regular Gramma – Not to be confused with Nanny.  Regular Gramma is Sue’s mom.
• Regular Papa –Not to be confused with Grampa From the Woods.  Regular Papa is Sue’s Dad
• Nanny  -- Nanny is my mom.
• Grampa from the Woods – this is my dad.
• Nuffin – 1. coll. Nothing 2. Retort.  Used like this: “Molly Why aren’t you listening?”  Molly: “Nuffin.”  Often paired with a loud snarky “Unnnh.”
• Black Cat – Black Cat is one of Molly’s most cherished friends.  She has two stuffed black cats (identical actually, because when the first one turned up missing, we had to “rescue” a new one from the toy store, only to have the original to surface a few days later).  But neither of these are the true black cat (though sometimes they are the avatars for black cat).  Black cat in essence is her best kitty friend.  Black cat knows magic, and is a lava kitty (she can traverse through lava with her lava paws.)
• White Cat – White cat is Molly’s other kitty friend, though this friendship seems strained and nebulous at times.  White cat is always mad and yelling at black cat, and sometimes so much so that Molly gets sad.  White cat also has magic and when White cat and Black cat are both present, they usually take residence on Molly’s shoulders.
• Lava Feet  -- You need lava feet to make it across the lava when the floor turns to lava.  Otherwise you need to stay on the pillows.
• Donut Boy, Hot Dog Boy – Terms of endearment for Jack.  ex: “Jack is a donut boy.”
• Him, Her --  Molly hasn’t quite nailed her pronouns yet, and I find it endearing to hear: “Him is a good kitty, him is my faborite.”
• Oh Nonono – Ask Molly a question and sometimes you’ll get this gem of a response.  It makes me cackle.
• Kitty Black Cat, Kitty Super Hero – These are Molly’s super hero names. Often paired with the super hero song—do do do dodododo do do do dum dum.  When she’s at the super bungee jump at the mall, she always does some superhero kicks and sings the song.
• Holy Crap! Look at Kon – This came out Lasterday (this morning).  I don’t know actually what Kon was doing because I was laughing so hard that she said holy crap.
• Those guys are bad guys, daddy? – Thursday we hit  gridlock in Pittsburgh  in an area where 279 and 376 and some other roads came together and there wasn’t any sort of traffic signals to make people, I dunno, merge intelligently.  And of course it was one of those things where everyone on the left needed to get all the way right and everyone on the right needed to get all the way left.  It was a clusterfuck that took about 30 minutes for 0.4 miles of driving.  And during that, Molly looked at all the jerks cutting people off and driving awful and said, “Those are bad guys, daddy? Them jerks?”  “Yes honey, they sure are.”
• Not quite – This is another phrase that she uses slightly wrong, but always in a humorous way.  “Molly are you going to finish your lunch?”  “MM Not quite.”
• I have 2 Poops/Pees – When going to the bathroom, she usually has either two poops or pees in her.  At least she’s consistent
• Soup Poop --  An undesirable poop experience where thing are not a hard poop
• Pop Poop – A poop that goes pop because it comes out with three farts (always three farts too)
• I have to wait for my fart to come out – When she’s taking a long time on the potty, this is almost always the reason.
• Far Far Away – Lots of things can be far far away.  Usually this is anything outside the house.
• Check it Out – She says this like Princess Bubblegum says it in Adventure Time – Very well enunciated
• Guys – She recently learned to refer to groups of  people as “guys.” So now she’ll say, “Hey guys, check it out.”
• Let me show ya – Little miss know-it-all will be delighted to show you all kinds of stuff.  And she’ll explain how it works too.

Part the Second – Jackisms

• Tankuuu – Said when receiving food or drink. Thank you.  And damn it’s genuine too.
• Dipppeeee – Coll. For Dippy Coll. for Sippy cup
• Oh Boy --  Dude gets excited
• Woow – Jack is uncannily apt with the Wows. 
• Weee Weee – Whenever he’s going fast or flipping around, he’s lovins it.  Dude’s going to be my rollercoaster buddy in about seven years.
• Hiiii – All Jack’s words have a long drawl at the end.  Like he wants to keep that word working for him to fill in for all the others he hasn’t quite grabbed yet
• Guda Guda Guda Ga – Jack’s Filler words.  Molly did Dukka Dukka Dukka if you recall.  Jack’s are a little slower, but just as cute.
• Buyyyyy--- He’s super cute at saying bye to people.  He’ll even lavish some kisses.  But half the time he waves  and looks in the wrong direction.  Maybe he thinks he’s leaving too.
• Yoooooo! (matched with fist pump) – Jack always joins in on the last “Yooo!” of the Yo Gabba Gabba! theme song; it’s his favorite show. Favorite to the point of poo brain
• Poo Brain – Not really a word he uses, but it’s the state that he falls in when transfixed with something.  As a male, he becomes single-mindedly focused and nothing short of shaking or loud (and I mean loud) noises will sway him away from his object of affection.  Molly finds Poo brain to be hilarious and will actively fuck with Jack to see how far she can go without distracting him.
• The Headshake – Jack’s got the No Headshake down pat.  It’s good too because, unlike Molly, Jack means no when he uses it (Molly had a long stint where no meant both no and yes – maybe it’s a universal girl thing)
• Acrobatics – Jack is a climber.  He’s at least 6-8 months  ahead of Molly’s development at the same age in respect to climbing on things.  Stairs aren’t an issue going up- and even coming down, he’s starting to learn to bend his legs instead of just plop falling each step.  He can get up on the couch and run amok like the best little monkeys.  I’m afraid for the day when he figures out how to climb out of the crib—because then I don’t know how we’ll contain him.

 

So that’s some of the cooler highlights of the kids’ collective linguistic growth.  Until next time….

Ontologica 3 Stirrs and wants YOU

We're gearing up to getting the new Issue of Ontologica off the ground, and this year we're planning on not only starting bi-annual publications, but also open reading periods.  If you've been itching to submit something, we'll have an open reading period from March 1 to April 30.  Take a look at our Submissions page and send us something already!